Posted by evan1516 | Posted in Language Arts | Posted on December 17, 2015
Santa is Stuck
By: Eva
One chilly Christmas Eve I was snuggled up in my cozy bed trying to sleep. I heard a THUMP from downstairs. I just ignored it. I heard it again THUMP, THUMP. I went downstairs creaking on the stairs CREEK, CREEK, and CREEK. I looked at the cookies and milk. They had not been touched.
I looked in the chimney. Ashes fell into my eyes as I reached into the chimney. I felt a fluffy beard. I pulled it and he yelled, “OUCH.” I thought for a moment. It must be Santa. I looked again in the chimney. I saw a red suit. Somebody exclaimed, “HELP.” It must be Santa I thought again to myself. I asked Santa, “Is that you Santa.” Santa exclaimed, “Yes.”
I went into the kitchen to grab butter. I put itinto the microwave to melt the butter, so I could get Santa out of the chimney. I took the melted butter out of the microwave and put the butter around the chimney I was hoping for some luck. I tugged and I could tell Santa was getting a little looser. I pulled and pulled, but I could not get him out of the chimney. 
Next, I got soap and water. I poured it in the chimney and luckily I got Santa a little looser.
Finally, I used a humongous magnet to stick on his belt. I had the humongous magnet from Grade Two Science. I got a ladder from the garage. I put it by the house and I climbed the ladder. I put the humongous magnet on his belt and I managed to get Santa a lot looser. I climbed down from the roof.
I went to get cooking oil from the kitchen. I climbed back on the roof again. I poured the cooking oil down the chimney. Santa slide out of the chimney! “YES!” I exclaimed.
Santa put some toys under the tree. This time Santa left using the front door. He climbed the ladder I had put by the house. He lifted off of the roof with a SWISH and he was gone with, “ HO, HO, HO and MERRY CHRISTMAS!”
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I went into the kitchen to grab butter. I put itinto the microwave to melt the butter, so I could get Santa out of the chimney. I took the melted butter out of the microwave and put the butter around the chimney I was hoping for some luck. I tugged and I could tell Santa was getting a little looser. I pulled and pulled, but I could not get him out of the chimney. 
Excellent work, Eva! Your story had a beginning, middle, and end. I like how you used logical ways to get Santa looser – the melted butter, soap and water, humongous magnet, and then finally the oil. I like how you explained each of your ideas with detail. You explained melting the butter in the microwave, tugging and tugging, and wishing for some luck. Then you explained how the soap and water helped get him looser. I can just imagine the humongous magnet you used as the third way to get Santa out of the chimney. Your ending was logical by using the oil and having Santa sliding out. Santa using the front door and climbing the ladder to get back to the sleigh is funny and a smart idea to ensure Santa does not get stuck again. By explaining your ideas and adding details helps make your writing more interesting and allows the reader to visualize your story in their mind. Great use of onomatopoeia words such as, “swish, creek, and thump.” Excellent use of descriptive words such as, “snuggled, cozy, fluffy, luckily.” Your font colour was easy to read and your pictures related well to your story such as the magnet, oil, and butter! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! Keep up the terrific work! 🙂
Hi Eva,
My name is Trinity and I’m from Mr.Geiman’s class. I think that you did really good with describing sounds and how you had lots of details. I wonder how Santa left if their were reindeer or something on the roof if he left by the door. Please visit my blog at http://blog.elanco.org/xiongo8o/ .