Santa’s Stuck in the Chimney

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Posted by dylans1516 | Posted in Language Arts | Posted on December 16, 2015

Santa Stuck in the Chimney

By: Dylan 

One chilly Christmas Eve the wind was blowing. The windows were opening and shutting because my dad left the windows open a bit for Santa.   Suddenlty, I heard a thump, thump noise on the roof. I went to look what was making that noise and as I went downstairs I heard a person yell, “HELP! HELP!  I’m stuck in the chimney!” I looked up the fireplace and I saw Santa’s white beard.  

 

“Santa what are you doing up there?” I asked.  Santa replied, “Can you get me out of here? Or I’m going to put you on the naughty list!”                                                                                                        

First, I decided to go outside and drive my dad’s red Ferrari up my brother Johnny’s ramp and hopefully land on the roof and knock down the brick chimney. I tried five times but it didn’t work! 

 

Next I thought that a tractor and a rope might get Santa out. I got the tractor from my dad’s farm. I tied one end of the rope around the brick chimney and the other end of the rope to the hitch of the tractor. I tried six times and it still didn’t work!

Just as I was about to quit my brother Johnny woke up. “Don’t give up, maybe if we try something else it would work!” suggested Johnny.” Hey I have an idea!” I shouted out loud.

Then I tried using butter to make Santa slippery! I had to go to the kitchen to get lots and lots of butter. I thought it wouldn’t work, but my brother exclaimed, “Just keep trying. I did what my brother suggested” I continued to try and It worked.  My brother and were I happy.My brother and I went to bed, so we wouldn’t be sleepy on Christmas morning.  Santa shouted, “Merry Christmas to all and a good night!”santa stuck

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Comments (1)

Good work, Dylan! Your story had a beginning, middle, and an end. You had different ways to get Santa out of the chimney. It’s a good thing you didn’t ruin your dad’s Ferrari and this was a creative idea, as well as, the tractor idea. The final idea of using the butter was a smart idea and it was nice to have your brother encouraging you not to give up. Continue working on adding descriptive adjectives to your writing that are more interesting. For example instead words like happy you could use joyful. Adding more detail and more descriptive language to your writing makes your writing more interesting. You do include onomatopoeia words such as thump. Your font colour was easy to read and your pictures related well to your story. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! Keep working hard! 🙂

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