Posted by gerhardbds4 | Posted in Language Arts | Posted on March 6, 2014
This is my paint roller snowman I made art. I hope you like it! I hope you enjoy my snowman story!
It was a chilly winter day in Edmonton. Gerhard was bored. He looked out the window deciding what he could do. He had an idea. He would build a snowman. Gerhard put on his black boobts, black snowpants, blue coat, and a yellow toque. Gerhard was ready to go outside. When he got outside he began to build a big ball for the bottom of the snowman, then he made a smaller ball for the middle, and finally rolled the small ball for the head. He went back inside to get a carrot, scarf, toque, mittens, and two sticks for the arms. When he finished the final touches he noticed that the snowman began to smile. The snowman replied, “Hi!’’ Gerhard replied, “Hell-oo-oo,’’ to the snowman. “My name is Nick and I’m a friendly snowman,” replied Gerhard’s new friend. Gerhard went back inside to get a snack. Gerhard came back out with chocolate chip cookies and ice cold milk, so Nick would not melt. After their snack they went outside to have a snowball fight. No one won! It was just great fun!
After the snowball fight, Gerhard and Nick decided to go skating on the pond located behind Gerhard’s backyard. Gerhard went inside to find his skates and some for Nick. As soon as Nick stepped on the ice, it cracked a little because Nick was heavy. Gerhard replied, “Maybe this is not a great idea. Let’s go back home to play some snow games.” They walked back home and found a blue and yellow sled from the garage. Gerhard and Nick climbed up a very, very, very steep and icy hill located by the pond. You could here the shouts of , “Waaahhhhhoooooooooo!!!!!!” as they slid down the hill.
Nick and Gerhard walked to the pet store in Edmonton. There were cute and cuddly kittens at the pet store. Nick wanted to pet them. Gerhard replied, “Look at those cute puppies too.” Nick and Gerhard spent some time petting and playing with the kittens and puppies.
After the pet store they walked back to the park. Gehard asked Nick if he he wanted to play grounders. “Yes, yes!” he responded. Nick and Gerhard played for a while then a coupl of other kids came and announced, “Can we play to?” “Yes Gerhard,” commented. All of them played grounders for an hour. Gehard and Nicky went home.
The next morning it was getting warmer. Gerhard went outside to visit Nick. Gerhard tried to talk and get him play a game, but it seemed Nick was not excited. He did have enough energy to play a game. Gerhard realized his snowman was beginning to melt.
The following day it was even warmer and Gerhard had to go to school. Gerhard looked outside and noticed his snowman was slumpig and getting smaller. When Gerhard came home from school he ran quickly to the backyard, but Nick had melted into a large puddle of water.
I realy liked how you asked Nick to play grounders. I also liked how you went outside and the snowman was a puddle of water.
Great work, Gerhard! I can tell you tried hard to add detail to your story, such as describing Gerhard’s clothing, the colour of the sled, and the type of cookies Gerhard and Nick ate. Adding detail allows your story to be more interesting. Nice job of adding descriptive adjectives such as, “steep, icy, cuddly etc.” I like how you described the activities you did with Nick. I like how Nick was too heavy to skate. Your ending of the story was creative. I like how you described Nick losing energy and that it took Nick time to melt. Really pay attention to ensuring that your sentences are not run on sentences, as this was something you had to go back and correct. Also pay attention to capitalization, such as names of people. Keep working hard! 🙂