Santa Stuck in the Chimney


Posted by davidw1516 | Posted in Language Arts | Posted on December 17, 2015

Santa Stuck in the Chimney

                             By: David

One chilly Christmas Eve, I could not sleep because I could not wait for Santa to come and deliver presents.  I heard a “thump,” “thump,” “thump” on the roof.  I went downstairs and I heard a “thump” and I kept hearing the “thump” again.  I ran upstairs and back to my bed again because I was scared.

I went to the garage to get a rope to get Santa out of the chimney and I threw the rope on Santa’s boots and he screamed, “Ouch,” it hurts.  That didn’t work. 

I went into the house to get melted butter to get Santa out of the chimney. I poured the melted butter into the chimney to get Santa out of the chimney, but that still didn’t work.

I went to get a crane to get Santa out of the chimney and I thought to myself I hope this works.  I went to the chimney and used the crane to pull Santa out.  I heard a “plop” and Santa thanked me for getting him out.  I finally could go to sleep.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Santa Stuck     6322509

Comments (1)

Good work, David! Your story followed a beginning, middle, and end. You had different ways to get Santa out of the chimney, but you need to work on adding more detail to your ideas. For example, where did you get the crane? This will help make your writing more interesting and more understandable to others reading your writing. You did use some great onomatopoeia words such as, “thump and ouch,” which help the reader hear the noise of the reindeer on the roof and feel sorry for Santa when you were trying to get him out of the chimney. Your font colour was easy to read and your pictures related well to your story. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! Keep working hard, David! 🙂

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